Saturday, March 31, 2007

Corporate Zodiac — What sign are you?

Astrology tells us about you and your future simply by your birthday. The Corporate Zodiac uses the department you work in. Demographics tell us what you like, dislike, whom you vote for, what you buy and what you watch on television. Well, the Corporate Zodiac goes a step further: simply from your job title, people will have you all figured out...

MARKETING:
You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing — which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.

SALES:
Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree," you are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with "customers" so you can "concentrate on the big picture." You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life.

TECHNOLOGY:
Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even YOU don't understand what you are saying, but who the hell can tell?! It is written that the Geeks shall inherit the Earth.

ENGINEERING:
One of only two signs that actually studied in school, it is said that ninety percent of all Personal Ads are placed by engineers. You can be happy with yourself: your office is typically full of all the latest "ergodynamic" gadgets. However, we all know what is really causing your "carpal tunnel"...

ACCOUNTING:
The only other sign that studied in school, you are mostly immune from office politics. You are the most feared person in the organization; combined with your extreme organizational traits, the majority of rumors concerning you say that you are completely insane.

CONTENT DEVELOPMENT/ EDITING:
The doormats of the office. You studied grammar and mastered the language so sincerely, but now you realize that it was sheer waste of time because your bosses don't understand half the things you write (GOD SAVE THEM !!) Whatever you do, no one is satisfied. Victimised sees yours is a thankless job. You are lowest in the corporate increment (no pay hikes) chain. If you work, your boss will find faults, if you don't, you are likely to be fired. You will be blamed for every mistake that happen in the peripheries of your office. The marketing guys will yell at you for developing bad content and your boss who thought separate is spelled s-e-p-e-r-a-t-e will also second him. So, basically you will never be satisfied, neither will your boss be. It is a lose-lose sign to say the lest.

HUMAN RESOURCES:
Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you tend to be the biggest gossip within the organization. Possibly the only other person that does less work than marketing, you are unable to return any calls today because you have to get a haircut, have lunch, AND mail a letter!

MIDDLE MANAGEMENT N DEPARTMENT MANAGEMENT N "TEAM LEADS":
Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry other "Middle Managers," as everyone in your social circle is a "Middle Manager."

SENIOR MANAGEMENT:
Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry other "Senior Managers," as everyone in your social circle is a "Senior Manager."

CUSTOMER SERVICE:
Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent cab ride from taking your own life. As a child very few of you asked your parents for a little cubicle for your room and a headset so you could pretend to play "Customer Service." Continually passed over for promotions, your best bet is to sleep with your manager.

CONSULTANT:
666. The devil's paradise.

No comments: